Into the Wild - Down the Mighty Mekong

In planning our trip, one of the things we have to work around is visa requirements that require us to consistently move countries.  Since we wanted to go up north to do all the fun things we've done, the logical route was to go into Laos from northern Thailand after our 15 days were up.  On a map it makes sense, but what we discovered was that northern Laos is very remote and difficult to get around in and there is only one city of note, the difficult-to-say Luang Prabang.  From Chiang Mai, Thailand to Luang Prabang on a map is only 250 miles, but the reality is that we were in for some serious, third-world traveling fun!

In researching the trip, we quickly found out that the main part of the trip would be a two day river trip down the mighty Mekong river through the wilds of Thailand and Laos in cargo ships that had been converted into people carriers.  To say online advice varied is to seriously understate the matter.  The reviews were polar opposites: either this would be the best and coolest thing we'd ever experienced, something straight out of National Geographic, or two long, hot, cramped, terrible days interrupted only by a "Heart of Darkness" style stay in a muddy backwater surrounded by cows and mosquitoes.  Time to find out!

The first leg was a 4 hour trip from Chiang Mai to the Thai-Laos Border.  We were not surprised when our minibus was late and took an hour to get out of Chiang Mai, nor was there much surprise when we stopped at the driver's "cousin's" store for lunch about an hour into the trip.  The surprise was that the store was a dry-processing plant.  Yay!

Surprise number two was when we stopped in a place called Chiang Rai about 45 minutes later.  Chiang Rai is a small, unremarkable city, except for one thing that we were unacquainted with:

Ta-Da!  What a thing to be famous for!

As I had been sleeping directly before seeing this, I thought I must still be dreaming, and it was not a good dream.  This is a functioning Wat, designed by a local "artist" who had a "vision" and then made what he saw.  His vision was something along the lines of "The Divine Comedy:" you have to go through hell to get to heaven, and other things that made absolutely no sense whatsoever.  What a "vision!"  Here's some more fun!

Probably better to not look to close

One of our van-mates.  What fun and interesting people you meet here.  Remember this man.

Behind that craziness was this fun little gem!

Gold house too, 

We also saw "The Predator" on the way out.  Why not?

One more van-mate.  Not related to the other hippie, surprisingly(?).

After that we were back on the road, and made it to the border in only 7 hours.  A new record!  After the crossing, made on these fun crafts:

This is the official way to get from one country to the other.  I'd love to see the unofficial way!

We settled in for our first night in Laos!  Yay!

The next day we made our way down to the docks (muddy bank) to get on the boats.  We'd heard of wooden benches and sitting on the floor of the boat, but we were pleasantly surprised to find car benches attached to 2x4's sitting on the boat.  Expectations exceeded!

These would be our home for the next two days.  Fine crafts they are, too.

Melanie on our fine craft

 

Another day at the "docks"

Permission to come aboard, captain?

After waiting for roughly three hours, and having people crammed into every car bench seat and were underway for day one through the jungle.

Life on the river

A day in the life of a Laotian fisherman.

Life on the banks

 After a few minutes, the late-comers who had been stuck in the engine room came to the front, figuring it was better to be stuck on a hard, wooden floor than with a super loud engine for six hours and started a fine backpackers party.  Guitars broke out, locals joined the fun, and fun was had by all.  The favorite song was, of course, CCR's "Rolling on the River."  It was being sung by a Spaniard, so the accent was fun but that just added to it.

Steve the Pirate was there too!  And some cute kids.

Beautiful

 The main fun on the first day was the tree-hugging, peace-with-the-universe, expose-the-evils-of-American-corporations, weed-smoking, I-worked-for-the-Peace-Corps-until-they-sold-out type of hippie, who was such a walking cliche of the highbrow independent, from Aspen Colorado of course, that it was all I could do to not laugh out loud sometimes.  He was trying WAY to hard to impress the girl from Belgium who was sitting beside him, which led to a three hour nonstop seminar in everything pretentious.  One second he was blabbering about karma being a learning experience, the next about volunteering in Haiti, the next about his documentaries.  At some point I took the below picture hoping to capture him for posterity

I apologize for my glazed-over eyes.  Only so much nonsense I can take.

 and they obliged by photo-bombing us, of course.  Other topics include: eating green, European world views, the evils of Bush and American imperialism (gag), he hit all the required topics to be cool and independent and earthy.  Finally, after 6 hours, day 1 was finished.  A beautiful finish it was too, a fantastic sunset in the jungle.

One of the most beautiful of our trip.  Can you beat this?

We had read we'd be stopping for the night in a tiny, muddy collection of shanties in the middle of the jungle.  I figured we would be sleeping in mud with pigs as roommates while malaria-ridden mosquitoes feast on our flesh, but we were again pleased with what we found.  As the ships can't travel the river after dark, they stop in a town whose only purpose is to act as the halfway point for the boats.  We found a decent restaurant, an air-conditioned room for $7, and food for the next day.  And no pigs for roommates (no jokes required)!  Expectations exceeded again!

What a fine place!

Day two was more beautiful cruising through the jungle, but our vantage point was different.  The boat was the same, but we arrived late, which meant that we got the last spot available, in the kitchen behind the baggage hold in the back of the boat.  Or, since there really aren't any good seats on those boats, you could look at it as an exclusive private cabin with an uninterrupted view and kitchen!

We did have some interesting experiences with the crew, including eating with them (sticky rice, old meat, sausage stored in the guy's pocket, and pickled spinach!  MMMMmmmm! - Brannan only), seeing them nap the day away on the backpacks, and climb on the roof to sunbathe.  But pictures are the best way to describe a life of the river.

The other boat on the river that day, I passed the time pretending we were racing it

Rural Laos

This is a cave where they put the worn-out Buddahs from all over Laos

The other boat goes for the pass!

The final day comes to an end - what a journey!

 The second day was 8 1/2 hours on the boat - ugh!  We were PSYCHED to finally make it into Luang Prabang, with the voyage behind us.  So psyched that we went out to eat at the most expensive place we've eaten at in Asia.  It was worth it, at least for Melanie.  We usually play the "Who has the better meal" game, and she won hands down that time, with a Caesar Salad, thick, perfectly juicy steak with herb butter, and cinnamon ice cream.   

Hail to the victor!

Overall, it was one of those fantastic-yet-awful experiences that I didn't enjoy at the time but am glad that we did.  Turns out all the reviews were right at the same time!

Side note - for some reason this didn't post when I completed it.  Bad news: it's been a while since we had a new post.  Good news: you lucky duckies will be getting two posts in two days when Melanie completes her post about our adventures in Laos and Bangkok (again).  Yay!